|
Yes, coaching is about listening and asking
questions, and not really about giving advice. However, two important
coaching skills that help the coachee reach his or her goals are
requesting and challenging.
In the first part of this series, we dealt
with brainstorming as a key coaching skill, and we saw that the coach not
only needs to play the role of a listener, but also needs to give some
input. When it comes to  requesting, the coach again has a very active role:
He should ask the coachees to do certain things that will help them work
towards their goals.
Let’s say the coach discovers that the
pastor’s ability to manage his time is a key issue for the successful
implementation of NCD, but the coachee does not really know what to change.
The coach could then request:
"I would like to ask you to draw up a report
to track the time you’re spending on every single task between now and our
next meeting. Would that be okay with you?"
Note that the coach asks: "Would that be
okay with you?" In other words: His request is a suggestion, and he asks
permission of the coachee.
Challenging is another key skill. The goal
of challenging is to help the coachee move beyond his or her self-defined
boundaries. Some time ago, I was coaching a church planter who wanted to
raise financial support. He made a list of 25 people he wanted to contact
personally. When I asked him, "How many people do you want to contact per
month?", he answered, "Two".
I helped him realize that at that rate, it
would take him two years to work through his list, and challenged him to
contact 10 people per month. His response was, "No, but I will do five
each month."
Here you see the effect of challenging:
Sometimes the coachee refuses to follow the challenge presented by the
coach, but in response makes a counter-suggestion that is actually more
challenging than what he or she originally intended. The net result is
that the coach has succeeded in moving the coachee beyond his or her
self-defined boundaries.
[Next part of this series in
eNCDine August 2004]
Christoph Schalk lives in Germany and directs the international
consultant network of the Institute for Natural Church Development |
