Bob Logan / Sherilyn Carlton

Asking Good Questions

Powerful questions make a big difference. They can unlock doors that the best statements cannot penetrate. One of the cardinal rules of creative writing is "Show, don't tell." Likewise, one of the cardinal rules of coaching is "Ask, don't tell."

Never tell a person something they can discover on their own. Think back on your teachers in college or high school. Who taught you the most? The teacher who read his notes aloud while you dutifully copied down information? Or the one who managed to launch a spirited, relevant discussion in which the students did most of the talking and arrived at their own conclusions? Good coaches, like good teachers, ask instead of tell. They push, challenge, and even play devil's advocate to make sure you've thought through your position thoroughly.

So what makes a question good? Good questions don't have to be complicated to be powerful-- simple queries like, "So what's next?" can produce a wealth of insight and change. In fact, one simple rule of thumb will carry you far: ask open-ended questions.

An open-ended question is one that cannot be answered with yes or no. If you ask someone, "What issues do you see as the most critical right now?" they must think independently and generate options. On the other hand, if you ask, "Don't you think meeting our budget is the most critical issue right now?" the person can only answer yes or no-- and based on the way the question was phrased, they might easily assume the right answer is yes.

Many questions serve to limit options or elicit predetermined answers. Think of a trial attorney's cross-examination: "Did you or did you not pick up the knife?" The yes/no response that is called for eliminates any chance for explanation of circumstances-- the question was designed to trap. On the other hand, the defense attorney may ask the same question in a different way, an open-ended way designed to allow the witness to be heard: "Tell us, in your own words, what happened when you walked into the room."

Many times we fall unconsciously into a pattern of asking closed questions. We ask, "Do you want to address this issue next week?" instead of "What would you like to address next week?" We're all guilty of it sometimes. The only solution is awareness and practice. We need to catch ourselves asking yes/no questions and think of ways to rephrase them as open-ended questions.

Remember that coaches ask questions for the purpose of helping the other person discover what God wants them to do. Use people's own stories and experiences to draw feelings, desires and goals out of them. Let's say someone had a bad experience at church. She had wanted to help out with the hospitality team before and after the service, but instead had a conflict with the person leading that ministry. Her coach could ask, "How did that make you feel?" "What would you have liked to have been different?" "How could you approach it differently?" Those questions serve to draw out her own experiences and feelings.

One of the added benefits of asking good questions is decreased pressure on the coach. One of the biggest reasons people avoid stepping into a leadership role like coaching is the fear of not having all the answers. A coach doesn't have to have the answers, only the questions. For most coaches, that's a big relief.

I've discovered both personally and professionally how powerful asking good questions can be. When I summarize what others are saying, invite them to say more, and keep unpacking their resources, they will solve their own problems 70% to 80% of the time without any input from me. In almost half of those cases, they'll shake my hand and say, "Thank you so much for your input," not realizing that I have provided no direction whatsoever.

For practice, take the closed questions below and rewrite them as open-ended questions:

• Are you going to advertise to bring in more people?

• Have you tried talking with him about it?

• Are you praying about the situation?

Robert E. Logan is the executive director of CoachNet International Ministries and provides training, consulting, coaching and resources to over 40 denominations. Sherilyn Carlton is an experienced life and leadership coach ("Destination Coaching"). Both authors are based in the USA.